Alexandra's Crazy Adventures
by Localskier
Summary: Alexandra's life is turned upside down one fateful day when she falls into Middle Earth in her Pajamas. After finding some of the fellowship, she goes on to have the adventures of her lifetime, including slapping Legolas, battling orcs and accidentaly galloping through Imladris.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **  
**I don't own any of Tolkien's characters.**

**Hey guys! So I've been envisioning this story for a while now, and decided to go ahead and write it down. Hope you like it and review! :)**

**Chapter one:**

" La lalala lalala lala lala, La lalala lalala lala lala la la..." I yell at the top of my lungs, my feet pounding on the linoleum tiles as my fluffy blue bathrobe swings madly around. Swaying my hips, I sing loudly, using my toothbrush as a microphone and not caring that flecks of minty green toothpaste were flying everywhere.

Turning the song up another notch, I adjust my earbuds then continue the mad dance party I've started in my bathroom.

However, before I get to far ahead of myself here, let me introduce myself. My name is Alexandra Darkhorse Von Chess, and I can credit my extremely awesome last name to my German roots. In fact, I can also blame my German heritage on my rather large thighs *sigh*, but they do help me go fast when I ski.

Which brings me to the next thing I was about to tell you, I'm an avid athlete. Living in Tahoe means that I have access to tons of trails for running and biking in the summer and Nordic skiing in the winter, so I won't be humble and just say it straight out that I'm pretty fit. Not, like, abs and weight lifting fit, but fairly flat stomach and able to run for ten miles every day fit.

Of course, I do love myself some chocolate, and carbs, I could eat bread all day... but I'm getting off track. Along with my strong legs I have long blond hair, green eyes, and some nice lips, seriously, I love my lips. And it may sound like I'm gorgeous, but I'm not, I'm averagely pretty. I could get some guys if I wanted to, and I will admit I can't say no to some good flirting, but I normally don't turn heads when I walk down the street.

So now you have it, I'm a twenty year old athlete with average looks who loves animals ( I'm a vegetarian ), nature, reading and jamming out to some good tunes. This story I'm about to tell you starts out with me in a hotel room, on a skiing trip in Europe with my ski team.

The girls who were sharing my room with me were out grocery shopping for dinner ( us athletes can never get enough food ), so I was taking advantage of my privacy and having a good old dance session, while simultaneously getting ready for bed. In fact, I was wearing my starry sky pj's with my matching blue bathrobe, and had my hair up in a messy bun. Now, back to the story.

Shacking my booty wildly, I shut my eyes as I belt out the last notes of the song I'm rocking out to, then spin around, fling my arms wide and open my eyes once more.

However, the expected mirror and counter cluttered with makeup and shampoo is not what I saw when I opened my eyes. No, I saw something a little different.

Actually, the first thing I did was bang my head on the ceiling and curse loudly, holding my head between my hands. After this incident, I looked around and saw that I was standing on a wooden table in what appeared to be a bar, and below me was a table of shocked and angry men, as I seemed to be standing in what I presumed was there dinner.

This was all I needed to see before I let out an ear piercing shriek and leapt off the table, my bathrobe flapping behind me like a cape as I pushed through the men and towards the door. Somebody grabbed my shoulder, and, panicked, I kicked backwards and came in contact with my presumed attacker, soliciting a groan of pain and my release.

Continuing my mad dash I sprint through the door and out into the night air, and not stopping to even see if I was being followed I ran through the hard packed dirt street, wooden buildings rushing past on either side of me.

Finally I make it to a fence which seems to mark the edge of the village and I vault over it ( quite impressively, I might add ) before running across another dirt street and into the forest awaiting me on the other side.

**Okay, well there's my first chapter. I'd love to hear your thoughts on the beginning of my story, anything is greatly appreciated. Thanks and I hope you enjoyed it! :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello! So here's chapter two, I hope you like it and thanks so so so so much DeLacus, alexma asphodelmoonlight, and cocoatd for reviewing!**

**Cocoatd: you'll find out a little farther into the story, I'm glad you like it :) **

**asphodelmoonlight: Thanks for the advice, I'll change the summary to be less pleading, that makes sense. Thanks, I hope you like this chapter :). **

**Oh, and forgot the disclaimer last chapter, but I ( sigh ) don't own The Lord of the Rings, sadly.**

Chapter two:

Twigs and branches slap me on the face, stinging and scraping, and my bare feet feel like they've been stamping on nails for the past hour, yet I continue running, my heart in my throat.

However, the trees silhouettes against the silvery moonlight are beginning to look more and more like creepy killers with limbs all broken and twisted, and suddenly this run-away-into-the-woods-at-night idea doesn't seem so smart.

Finally I skid to a stop, and gulping in the sweet air I slide down to the ground, coming to a rest amongst the leaves and roots. As scary as the forest is, there is another thought that frightens me even more; HOW THE HELL DID I GET HERE?!

One second I was singing and dancing to my hearts content in a bathroom in Sweden and then, BAM, I'm in some medieval looking bar standing on a freakin table.

Feeling slightly shaky and sick all of sudden, I put my head between my knees as tremors shake my body.

"Get a hold of yourself, girl!" I scold myself.

"There has to be an explanation for this," I try ( not very well, I'll admit ) to convince myself, "maybe you slipped and fell on the tiles and now you're in coma? I wouldn't put this weirdness past being made up by your brain, you do have some pretty weird dreams... OR... Some physco came into my hotel room, drugged me, and somehow got me to a bar and on top of a table..."

Moaning in disbelief and frustration, I shake my head and pull myself back up to my feet, shivering in the brisk night breeze and pulling my bathrobe tighter against my body.

Coming to terms with the fact that staying here and feeling sorry for myself might just get me killed ( can you die in your imagination? ), I look around and decide to try and find my way back to that town that I so foolishly abandoned in my rush of fear and adrenaline.

That's when I realize that I have no idea which way is the way back.

"Oooooh Shit. Well I have royally screwed up, and now I'm going to probably be murdered by some crazy logger with an axe." I mutter angrily to myself.

Fear starts to wrap itself around me like an ice cold wind, chilling me to the bones. Trying in vain to fend it off, I start singing to myself,

"I see trees of green, red roses to, I see them bloom, for me and you. And I think to myself, what a wonderful world..."

Feeling a bit less scared out of my mind, I survey my surroundings in an attempt to decide where to go from here. From what I can see in the dim light of the moon, I'm surrounded on all sides by dense forest, the trees much more twisted and moss covered then the tall and proud pines and firs that I grew up with.

The fact that there was no snow covering the ground thoroughly rattled me, for that meant that I had to be far away from my hotel, which had been in the middle of a snow storm, with at least five feet of snow previously accumulated.

Letting out a nervous breath of air, I straighten my bathrobe and in a moment of decisiveness I resolve to try and find any signs of civilization, be it a road, a house, or even a telephone pole.

This plan turns out to be a little more painful then I had expected.

"Ow, ow, ow," I curse under my breath, my torn and bruised feet protesting angrily at having to move once more. I guess that my mad dash over sharp rocks and sticks hadn't fared so well on my poor toes.

Sucking in a quick breath, I bite my cheek and continue doggedly on, keeping a sharp gaze out for anything remotely suburban or civilized.

However, hours pass and I still haven't found something. Dawn starts to grace the branches of the trees, a soft and innocent light that marks the start of the new day.

This sight raises my spirits ever so slightly, and I stand up a little straighter, a determined set to my jaw. I'd like to say that there was also a renewed spring to my step, but that couldn't have been farther from the truth. Every step felt like needles going into the soles of my feet, and as a result I was walking in this odd shuffling, waddling gait.

By what I assume to be midday ( I can't see the sky because of these darned trees ), I am thoroughly spent, hungry, sore, thirsty and ready to simply take a nap right on the mossy dirt.

My emotions get the better of me, and in a crashing wave of despair, pain and anger I sink to my knees and let out a scream of frustration, pulling at my hair and letting tears roll down my face.

Rolling over onto my back, I stare up through the twisted branches at the snatches of blue sky, like puzzle pieces strewn across a table, and wonder if I'll ever get out of this god forsaken forest.

Suddenly I hear something crashing through the trees, and I leap to my feet, a million thoughts racing through my head.

"Did somebody ( or something ) hear my scream? Am I about to be killed or saved? If I am going to be saved I can't believe I'm in my pajamas. I really hope this isn't a grizzly bear and I'm about to get mauled."

Deciding that in case it was a bear, or some other thing willing to eat me, I frantically look around for something to defend myself with. My eyes come to rest on a fallen branch, about the length of my arm and closely resembling a club.

Scrambling over to it, I heft it up and into my hands, holding it like a batter up to hit, and I wait for whatever it is that's coming, my chest heaving and body trembling ever so slightly.

What burst through the undergrowth, however, puts a stop to any plan I had of whacking something with my makeshift weapon. In fact, what I saw caused me to stop everything I was doing, including breathing.

Frozen in place, I finally remember to breath, and once the initial shock wore off, I couldn't decide wether to laugh or scream and run away.

For standing in front of me were a group of midgets and a man, all dressed to the nines as medieval travelers. In short, I had been rescued ( hopefully ), by a group of role players. The only thing that made me rather nervous was the fact that the man had a very long sword sheathed at his hip that might be functioning, and the midgets might be armed as well, for all I knew.

Dropping my stick, I smiled shakily, then had to cover my mouth in order to cover up a fit of giggles that I was having. I mean, I meant no offense to the role players, but they were really rather funny looking, and I had suddenly had an image of a bunch of fat guys in a clearing waving staffs at each and hitting each other in the head ( not that all role players were fat ).

Although, the man wasn't all that bad looking, in fact he was rather hot, with his shaggy brown hair and grey eyes, and suddenly I was acutely aware of what I must look like. Messy hair, bloody feet, sweaty, grimy and to top it off the fact that I was wearing a fluffy bathrobe.

Sighing, I tried to comb the tangles out of my hair with my fingers, and introduced myself.

"Hey, um, I'm Alexandra, and I'm not exactly sure how I got here, but would you mind telling me where here is?" I asked, flashing them my best smile.

My attempt at conversation fell flat, for the man cocked his head at me then answered in some language that I simply knew wasn't English, or Swedish or German or Italian or French or Spanish, for that matter.

Maybe he was Czech?

Clearing my throat, I went through all the phrases that I'd accumulated during my travels, and others that I'd simply learned as I grew up.

"Bonjour? Hallo? Ciao? Konnichiwa? Hola? Hej? Guten tag? Sali? Privet? Ahoj?" and, just for good measure, "hello?"

Finally exhausting all of the languages that I knew how to say hi in, the man then proceeded to try multiple languages out on me, all of which sounded utterly foreign to me.

Sighing once more, I accept that I just have to deal with limited communication until I find someone who speaks English.

Stepping forwards, at that moment I unknowingly joined the small company of men that would change my life forever.

**Thanks to anyone who has read this, and if you have anything to say please review, it's greatly appreciated. :)**


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